Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Stephen W. Hawking IS the Most Interesting Man in the World

Forget the Double X guy with his Triple X girlfriends, Stephen Hawking is the most interesting man in the world.

I mean, think about this ladies: The guy can make things happen just by wiggling his eyebrows. He lays the mysteries of the universe open at your feet. He knows all about the Big Bang and Black Holes.

Cue Pink Floyd's—although (blasphemy) I like Camper Van Beethoven's cover better—of Intersteller OverDrive.*

But enough with the double entendre, because I’m dead serious. This guy ROCKS. He really DOES lay out the mysteries of the universe for you. I remember years ago reading A Brief History of the Time and thinking, “Whoa, did he really just make me understand that?”

What brings on this burst of amore (sorry, no Dean Martin link)? Well, if you watch the Discovery channel (and surely you watch the Discovery channel) my man Stephen is on with a program called Into the Universe. (Ok, you know it's coming: Cue the Beatles. God, I love that song.)

Anyway, Stephen (my man) is at it again (he and a few buddies), making my wee little brain absorb concepts that are surely beyond its capacity.

He also reminds me what a whiney little brat I am.

How so? Well, since you watch Discovery, you know that other program, Deadliest Catch. The captains on that show frequently mention that often the big, burly tough guys last about 5 minutes on a crab boat before they turn into whiny little girls (hey, I resent/resemble that remark!)

Because it's not about physicality, it's about mental toughness. Well, with all due respect to all the Catch crews, my man Stephen can whoop your a~~ when it comes to mental toughness. He doesn't endure, he doesn't make due, he excels against all odds.

Which Peter Himmelman (LOCAL MN MUSICIAN ALERT**) and I both know shows up our whiny little a~~es—as Peter wrote in a song about a visit to a female fan, who was a quadriplegic (and, more to the point, a social activist):

I was speaking to you with my voice
You were speaking to me by choosing letters with your eyebrow
You didn't have no choice
And yet you had an attitude like that's just the way that it goes now
From the moment I saw our face
I knew all my so-called troubles were nothing
You put me in my place
I knew right then I better start living for something
Susan, I owe you an apology
For all the days I just let slide right through my hands
You are the woman with the strength of 10,000 men
(and the words come ticking out; and the words bring us together
and the words come ticking out; and the words must keep you sane)

(Peter Himmelman, Woman with the Strength of 10,000 Men)

And so, humbly, I submit: Stephen W. Hawking is the most interesting man in the world.

And so Stephen, If You're Wondering If I Want You To explain the mysteries of the universe to me, I say, yes, yes, YES!

* I know, I know--that's two references to the same band in only two blogs, but One Thing Leads to Another.
** Yes, he doesn't live here anymore, but he knows he's Minnesotan. Oy vey, ubetcha!

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